A new year

Our new year started out very uneventful with Aubrey going back to school, Steven getting ready for his school to start, finishing up last year's projects, and life becoming more structured with a regular routine. However, last Tuesday all of that changed and this year is gearing up to be another year of life changing events.

Last Tuesday was my detailed ultrasound were the baby is measured and areas of importance and concerned are looked over to detect any possible conditions. What we thought would be normal and routine just like our last three children was, well... not normal and routine. During the ultrasound the radiologist detected a abnormality, the neonatal specialist was called in and the condition was confirmed our little girl has gastroschisis.

Gastroshisis is a condition were the intestines and sometimes other organs develop outside the fetal abdomen through an opening in the abdominal wall.

In the case of our little girl, it looks like just her small intestine are out.

What this means to me and our family is that:

1. My pregnancy is now considered high risk.

2. I will be seeing my OB doctor on a weekly basis.

3. I will be having non-stress tests done at the hospital here locally, once a week, and then twice a week as my pregnancy progresses and I get closer to my due date.

4. I will continue to have follow up ultrasounds, were her progress will be closely monitored.

5. My labor will be induced and she will be born in Tuscon, AZ (about 2 hours away). One of my concerns was if I would be able to deliver her vaginally, but the doctor reassured me that I could as long as everything goes smoothly and she shows no signs of stress.

6. After she is born, she will be immediately taken into surgery, were they will try and put the intestine back inside her abdominal cavity.

7. Then it becomes a waiting game. Her time in the hospital is completely uncertain. Testing will be done to make sure that everything is working properly and there is no sign of infection.

8. Hopefully life will return somewhat to normal. Most infants born with gastroschisis have normal lives after the first year of their lives.

Walking back to the car with Steven after our appointment was over was almost having a out of body experience. My body knew what it needed to do, put one foot in front of the other, but my mind was completely somewhere else. Even though the doctor reassured me several times that this particular birth defect was on no account my fault and was somewhat common, 1 in every 5, 000 births. That the hospital staff in Tucson were very trained and the surgery had very low risks with high results. The words that continued to echo through my mind was, "as soon as she is born she will be taken into surgery". Those precious, precious moments when all the hard work of being pregnant and going through labor are rewarded a hundred fold when they place your new born infant in your arms for the first time and you get to hold them so close, will not be mine this time. Yes, I will be able to she her as soon as possible. Yes, I will be able to hold her so very close. But I will have to wait, and that is what makes it so hard.

When we got back to the house Steven's father was home for lunch and my grandma and grandpa Dixon where there as well. They had been in town running their errands and my grandmother told my grandfather that she had a feeling they needed to stop by and see us. It was wonderful being surrounded by loving parents and grandparents as we told them the news.

I am so grateful for a loving, righteous husband that was able to give me a priesthood blessing. For a loving Father in Heaven, who is watching over our little girl, over me, and over my family.
Also, for the knowledge that I have of the gospel, that gives me more of an eternal perspective.

Steven pronounced a beautiful blessing upon my head, and the Holy Ghost like a warm blanket enfolded me with a calm reassurance that all will be well.

I have felt that calm reassurance over and over again, as I have thought about our future. As I have spoken to family members and telling them the news. I have felt it as I write this posting, letting the many wonderful friends we have known over the years in all our coming and goings about our little one on the way.

I know that all will be well, I know that everything is in the Lord's hands, and that I could not ask Him for anything more.

Our family is doing very well. Steven and I are trying to put our family into a very scheduled routine so that way when the baby comes, hopefully all will continue to run smoothly.

I guess all I can ask for, is your prayers in our behalf. We have a long road ahead of us and your prayers would be gratefully appreciated.

I will continue to update on our little one's progress and our family's as well.

As a side note, Aubrey is about to lose her front tooth, the one that she chipped when she was a year old. I am soo excited. I have been waiting for 5 years for that tooth to fall out!!!